your hand in mine
by leonettetyrell
Summary: In which I write Amy/Eleven drabbles based on song lyrics.  Some canon, some AU, all loving.  Companion piece to explosions in the sky.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **So you may be asking yourselves, what exactly is this? And I will attempt to answer that.  
>I have chosen meaningful lyrics from one hundred of my favorite songs, and I am writing drabbles for AmyEleven based on those lyrics, simply because I was bawling after the God Complex aired here in the U.S. The drabbles will be released in series of ten.  
>However, you may notice that some numbers are missing, and I have not, in fact, lost the ability to count.<br>Those drabbles that are missing in this story are those that I have deemed M-rated, and so I will not include them here because I recognize that not everyone wants to read those kinds of stories. If you do want to read them, they are in a companion piece called _Explosions in the Sky._  
>Allons-y! I hope you enjoy, and sorry for the super-long AN!<p>

* * *

><p>[01. This one's for the lonely…this one's for the faithless]<br>Greg Laswell, _Comes and Goes in Waves_

As the Doctor runs through the desert of Oahu (lovely planet, really), he can't help but look over at Amy.  
>She's laughing at the thought of being chased by the people they just saved from being forgotten about.<br>Turns out, the culture of Oahu puts a lot of faith in others forgetting about them- it's a tricky situation, but the Doctor understands because if no one in the universe remembers you, then you're safe.  
>She's crying in the TARDIS afterwards, and he hugs her as some act of consolation.<br>"Shh, it's ok, Amy. They're not lonely; just remember that".  
><em>I'm not either anymore.<em>

* * *

><p>[02. The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out]<br>Florence+The Machine, _Cosmic Love_

When the universe is ending, all the Doctor can think about is how the young Amy won't see the stars at night.  
>Well, he is trapped in a box waiting to be rescued. It's an atypical situation for him. He's unsure of what to think right now.<br>When Rory saves him, the only light to illuminate Amy's nearly dead (_How could you Rory? She's my Amelia Pond! _he thinks) body is the fire erupting from the heart of the TARDIS.  
>He prefers the look of moonlight upon her face, especially when they dance near its reflection in a lake.<br>Again, atypical for the Doctor, but she was a pretty girl whose fiancé was erased by the universe. She deserved a dance every now and then.

* * *

><p>[03. I'm just a little bit caught in the middle.]<br>Lenka, _The Show_

Sometimes Amy feels trapped between two hopeless situations.  
>She loves Rory and she loves traveling with the Doctor and she does not want to give up on either of her boys.<br>So whenever tension breaks out between them, she is always the one to interfere so that both her Raggedy Man and her Lost Centurion are kept happy.  
>After all, she came to see all of time and space, not her two best friends bickering.<p>

* * *

><p>[04. It was not your fault but mine; and it was your heart on the line]<br>Mumford and Sons, _Little Lion Man_

The Doctor knows he's royally messed up when Amy's eyes fill with tears and she hurries down the hallway of the TARDIS toward her room.  
>He exhales as he hears the door slam.<p>

It was just another argument between the two, and, in his anger, he must have said something to set her off.

He goes into her room quietly, softly shutting the door behind her.  
>"Amy, I'm sorry. I don't know what I said, but I surely didn't mean it, and especially did not want to hurt you".<br>She kisses him and he can practically taste her tears on his lips.  
>"It'll be ok, Doctor. Just don't ever tell me that you shouldn't have come back for me ever again, alright?"<br>He mentally smacks himself repeatedly because she is Amelia Pond and she is the best thing to have ever happened to him.  
>What he said acts like a dark cloud; it hangs over them, but once its contents have been released and swept away, Amy and the Doctor can begin to recover from the destruction.<p>

* * *

><p>[06. We were only seventeen; we were holding back our screams.]<br>The Airborne Toxic Event, _Gasoline_

The Doctor tells Amy about his first roller coaster ride one day.  
>His girlfriend at the time was shocked that he had never been to an amusement park, much less on a rollercoaster, within the first seventeen of his life.<p>

So, she made a point of it to drag him over to the next planet over the weekend and have them ride the biggest, scariest, and most intense roller coaster on the planet.

They made a pact not to scream during the ride (here Amy snorted and insisted that was half the fun before he silenced her).

And so, at seventeen, the Doctor held back his screams as he rode his first rollercoaster.

"She broke up with me after that."  
>"Why?" Amy asked curiously.<br>"I think it was because I threw up on her new star whale boots."  
>All Amy can do is laugh.<p>

* * *

><p>[07. Kamikaze airplanes in the sky; are we going down or will we fly?]<br>Tyrone Wells, _Sink or Swim_

The simple fact is, as angry as the Doctor is, he cannot assure Rory or anyone that his plan to save Amy will work. Demon's Run is one of the most heavily guarded bases in this sector of the universe.

All he has is his overconfidence and his special WWII planes to calm down his allies.  
>As Amy hears and feels Danny Boy's impact on Demon's Run, she knows that the base and the Church are going down; and soon, she will fly away in the TARDIS with her boys.<p>

* * *

><p>[08. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.]<br>The Fray, _All at Once_

Companions have left the Doctor before, but it was almost never by his choice; he does not will for it to happen.  
>So when he chooses to save Amy and Rory, he knows it is the right thing to do, but that does not make his decision any easier on him.<br>This is the second time in his life the Doctor has to bid his glorious Pond farewell, and both times were extremely difficult.  
>Amy does not argue; that does not ease the burden on his heart, though.<br>Rory focuses on the car like the Doctor knew he would, but he does not worry about Rory; it is Amelia he worries about.  
>The best thing the Doctor ever did for someone else was somewhat selfish (he doesn't want to see anyone die for him again), but he still wrestled with himself over it.<br>He leaves Amy Williams behind, and he knows that at some point in his life, he will not regret it.

* * *

><p>[09. Let's skip the charades; you're seeing right through me anyway.]<br>Cold War Kids, _Skip the Charades_

There are no pretenses when the Doctor meets the people whom he decides, almost in the same instant, are going to travel with him.  
>So when he introduces himself to Amelia Pond, he does not hide his thoughts.<br>A fairytale name for a girl waiting for something, anything, to save her from her boring life.  
>The Doctor has always loved the chance to be someone's here without ruining their life for once; is it any wonder that he took it?<br>Five minutes and twelve years later, any walls she put up around her after he left tumble down; it's useless to keep them up because he's got her figured out and she doesn't feel like playing games with him anymore.  
>He has a habit of doing that with people.<p>

* * *

><p>[10. Your hair's on fire, you must have lost your wits.]<br>Foster the People, _Pumped up Kicks_

The first thing he sees when he returns is that she has a fireball of glorious hair covering her head.  
>He doesn't recall seeing anyone quite so <em>ginger<em> before, and so the Doctor feels he can plead temporary insanity when he becomes so completely enthralled and obsessed with it.  
>At first glance, that was the only thing truly spectacular about her, and so the Doctor understands why people think he lost his wits by bringing Amy aboard the TARDIS.<br>But there was so much more to her that made him crazy.  
>Her courage. Her stubbornness. The way she knew exactly what made him make the wrong decision.<p>

If you ask, though, he'd say that the fireball on her head did scorch her senses, if only for a little while.


	2. Chapter 2

[11. My boy builds coffins for the rich and the poor.]  
>Florence+The Machine, <em>My Boy Builds Coffins<em>

The Doctor, Amy discovers, creates a special sort of coffin for all those he has lost. There are no bodies, usually, for him to bury and to find closure with, so he comforts himself in other ways.

She stumbles across her own box amid others. Amy opens Donna's, and she sees a photo of her in ancient Rome; in Rose's, Bad Wolf Bay is everywhere. Martha Jones's has footprints, and Sarah Jane's is filled with articles.  
>Curious, Amy opens her own box. There is just a note.<p>

_Never, ever, lose Amy._

Her heart teems with love for her raggedy man at that moment.

[12. My feet are buried in the sand, and there's a breeze.]

Regina Spektor, _Folding Chair_

The TARDIS finally allows the Doctor to land in Rio, and Amy shoots out of the phonebox in a heartbeat.  
>The beach is nearly empty; it is not to hot, and the sea breeze feels perfect running through her hair.<p>

The Doctor, enchanted by her beauty among the sand, stops and stares at her for a minute.  
>Amy Pond is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful, complex people he has traveled with.<br>She lays out her towel and kicks off her shoes. Sitting down, she lets the sand run through her toes as she burrows her feet in the grains.  
>Her magnificent hair flips around as she turns to look at him.<br>"Oi, Doctor! Quit staring at the sea and come sit down! We're here to enjoy ourselves!"  
>"I'm coming Amy!" he shouts, breaking from his reverie.<p>

They spend the afternoon with her head on his shoulder and his head on top of hers, and with their arms wrapped around each other.  
>It's perfect for them, getting to simply <em>exist <em>for once.

[13. She lives in a fairytale somewhere too far for us to find.]

Paramore, _Brick by Boring Brick_

When the Doctor watched Amy dance with Rory at their wedding, he was left to his thoughts.

Like every wedding he had been to, he realized all over again that he had never really known what marriage was like.

After all, his only long-term romantic commitment left him when her husband, his nemesis, returned.

This time, thought, her thinks about River and what his future with her is like as well.  
>"She won't be Amy," he thinks, "but she'll be wonderful, I bet."<p>

But as Amy and Rory's fairytale wedding ended, the Doctor wished that, just once, he could find himself lost in his own fairytale: living a normal life.  
>Not that <em>that <em>was likely to occur anytime soon,

[14. Ships are launching.]  
>Radial Head, <em>Welcome Home<em>

The Doctor has his own secret tradition with each companion.

And no, it's not the way he presents the TARDIS.

When the TARDIS takes off for the companion's first time, he looks over to see their faces.  
>Rory was rather unimpressed compared to everyone else, he remembers.<br>But Amy Pond, oh, her face was magnificent. She was exhilarated and enchanted as the TARDIS launched herself into the time vortex.

He also judges their reaction to the first place he takes them.  
>Amy was a pleasure, because she was so completely starry-eyed, and her Doctor- well.<p>

Her Doctor wished that the stars in the universe shone as brightly as her eyes did.

[16. I need another story; something to get off my chest.]

OneRepublic, _Secrets_

After another chance of finding Melody slips through the Doctor's fingers, he feels the need to call Amy and simply cry. Cry because he is the Doctor and something like finding a baby should be simple for him and his blue box!

He picks up the TARDIS's phone, and dials Amy's house number.

He hears a beep, and starts rambling.  
>"Amy? It's me. I haven't found her yet, and," here he sighed, and felt the tears roll down his cheeks.<br>"I'm sorry, Amy. I didn't think it would be so hard. She's a baby, she's part of you and you're a part of her and she's River too and I should be able to find her and I just can't!  
>"I'm 912 years old. Why can't I do one simple thing? I haven't cried for years, possibly decades, and here I am, blubbering like a child.<br>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You are all magnificent and-"  
><em>This number is no longer in service. Please hang up and try again.<br>_He sets the phone down in the cradle, and the Doctor cries and relieves years' worth of emotions. The weight in his chest lightens considerably, but still weighed him down quite a bit.

[17. One of us is gonna be here and one of us is gonna be running.]

A Fine Frenzy, _Blow Away_

She pouts.  
>"But Doctor, I really want to come with you!"<br>"Amy, no. This is something I need to do on my own and you can't come with me".

"And why not?"  
>Exasperated, he responds:<br>"Because you can't, Amy! Goodness, we spend all our time together and I can't get any alone time. Please, Amy, just let me!"  
>She frowns. "Fine, but don't blame me if something bad happens while you're out!"<br>He kisses her forehead. "Nothing will. Thank you, goodbye, I'll see you soon!"  
>After he leaves, she grumbles to herself.<br>"Even on my birthday, he won't listen to me!" 

An hour later, he bursts back into the TARDIS, out of breath, and immediately dashes to the console to take off.  
>Amy comes out of her room.<br>"What on earth have you done this time?"  
>"You earth people seem to expect money in return for things; I'll never understand why".<br>"Did you still something, Doctor?"  
>"It's quite possible, yes. I might have also ran away from the security guard".<br>"Doctor!"

"Relax, Amy. Here," he says, pulling out a small box, "happy birthday!"  
>She grins and asks: "How did you remember?"<br>"I'm the Doctor, I know everything. Now open it up and make my time worthwhile!"  
>"Always so impatient!" She gaps as she opens to box to find a set of blue diamond earrings inside.<br>She tackles him in an embrace.  
>"They're beautiful, thank you, thank you!"<br>The Doctor loves moments like these.

[18. Breathing's just a rhythm.]  
>Regina Spektor, <em>One More Time With Feeling<em>

Something about the way Amy laughs makes the Doctor forget how to breathe.

It's pure happiness for him, hearing those pearls of joy coming from her Scottish mouth. He treasures those sacred moments, as they happen less often nowadays.  
>He's grown more accustomed to the rhythm (<em>in-out, inhale-exhale)<em> because she hasn't been quite the same since she and Rory (Rory, Rory, Rory, who somehow holds her heart, much to the Doctor's ill fortune) lost Melody.  
>He makes a vigorous vow that he will make her happy and full of laughter again.<p>

[19. I'm trying not to think about you; can't you just let me be?]  
>A Fine Frenzy, <em>Almost Lover<em>

The best thing she can do, Amy decides immediately after his departure, is to not think about the Doctor.

She dives into finding a new job and career, and into her marriage with Rory, but he always seems to surface in the smallest ways.  
>When she gets a job at the local coffee shop, the uniforms are TARDIS blue- and Amy can't help but laugh at the irony.<br>An agent slips a card into her hand when she hands him his coffee one day, saying to her that she has lots of potential.  
>Clearly, she can't avoid references to the Doctor, because this agent's company is named Pandora's Box. She remembers explosions and new beginnings and<br>_gotcha._

She pleads with him in her head.

_Please, Doctor. Just let me get my life in order._

And, of course, he ignores her, because she models for a perfume titled Petrichor with the (oh-so-ironic) tagline that she suggested.

"For the girl that's tired of waiting".

[20, Love is not a victory march]  
>Rufus Wainwright, <em>Hallelujah<em>

It's Amelia Pond of all people who makes him realize that love is not a possession or something to be won.

_By using the people I love! Never a good idea._

He was angry beyond reason, the kind of anger that blinds him to the true evil at Demon's Run.

But underneath that anger, his love for Amy is what fuels him.  
>How could the Doctor not have seen it beforehand? His Amy, his companion, replaced by a flesh copy.<p>

_You're half of my soul._

That's why he cannot walk out of Demon's Run with his head held high. He has failed his other half- even if they are not in love, the Doctor and Amy love each other at the end of the day with all their hearts.


End file.
